The gift to a friend can be found for sale online | Lifestyles




CHER ABBY by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I used to collect vintage dresses, many of which were bought online from retailers for several hundred dollars each. I reluctantly sold some on consignment after a breakup – you know, “with the old, with the new.” But I have kept some beautiful vintage works of art.

A friend of mine (I’ll call her “Gabbi”) likes to sew, and I gave her one of the dresses I had been hanging on, to wear or to DIY. I wanted her to make it something meaningful to herself instead of keeping it buried in my closet.

Last weekend we had lunch. When I asked her how he was or what she was planning to do with it, she replied that she had given it to someone I didn’t know to sell on a clothing resale site. I can’t help but be angry. I know I gave it to Gabbi, but I think what she did was rude. If she had asked me if it was OK to give it away, I would have asked in return.

How to stop maintaining this feeling? Every time I think about her now, I get angry. The next day after our lunch we went to a real estate sale and Gabbi referred to this other person again – “I should have invited ‘Bethany’ so she could find some stuff to resell.” I think Gabbi is oblivious to how she makes others feel. What do you think? – SUPPORTED IN ALABAMA

DEAR CONSIDERATION: You’ve generously tried to help Gabbi by giving her the dress, but unless you specify that it is a collector’s item and if she can’t use it, you wanted her returned to you, you shouldn’t blame her. From my perspective, it seems Gabbi is generously trying to help a friend who needs to earn some money. I hope you let go of your disappointment because if you can’t, you risk destroying a precious relationship.

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DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, a few months before my 41st birthday, I discovered that the man who raised me (I’ll call him “Norm”) is not my biological father. Norm is a wonderful and loving father figure, who made it clear that it doesn’t change anything between us.

Because this discovery was heartbreaking at first, my parents decided not to tell Norm’s parents or siblings about it. I initially supported their decision because after my biological father made it clear that he didn’t want anything to do with me, it made sense to leave him alone. But now, with my grandparents in poor health, I think they should know. I don’t know if it would do more harm than good at this point. Please advise. – LAUNCH IN KANSAS

DEAR JETÉ: What do you think you will accomplish by telling Norm’s parents at this point? You have been their grandson for four decades. Because their health is precarious, they may not need to hear anything that would bother them. I’m voting to keep this “news” private, as Norm and your mom requested.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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For a great guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more social person, order “How to Be Popular”. Send your name and mailing address, along with a check or money order for $ 8 (in US dollars) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling costs are included in the price.)

(EDITORS: If you have editorial questions, please contact Clint Hooker, [email protected])


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